Somewhere Ages and Ages Hence, or, What I Have Been Doing Lately

A little over a year ago a self-important man asked me where my head was.  I told him my head was wondering what he had in mind for me within his organization, then and in the never-to-happen future.

He never answered my question.

I answered his.

******

A little over a week ago a very busy man received my resignation.  I told him that I couldn't afford to work for footing expenses up front, I sent him months of free research, and voiced the hope that we could stay in touch in the event that my financial situation changed.

I haven't heard from him since.

I got my answer again.

*****

From time to time, you know, I like to send out what I've been doing lately.  (Ah, the lyrical lines of the Jamaica Kincaid story start to trip through my memory like a spring...)  Looking at my Twitter and Facebook feeds, one might get the impression that I do nothing but watch movies, read books, and surf the internet.  Much of my down time is spent doing those things--Carlsbad is not the bustling metropolis that San Francisco was, and provides me with fresh air and that's about it.  (Peace?  No--noisy neighbors.  Quiet?  See previous.)  Sometimes, though, all I need is the air that I breathe.  I'll take this barrel bottom.  It's round and sturdy.

So, for those who are curious, here's my days...

Monday through Thursday:

• Job searches
• Workouts (running to the ocean, core work)
• Working on the novel, Draft Two
• Working on short stories, and where to sell them
• Finding things to clean, to contribute to in the house (animal husbandry, home engineering, culinary arts)

Friday through Sunday:

• Reading
• Movies
• Fishing with my brother, if he's not working and the weather likes us
• Visiting the farmer's market, when in session
• More of the culinary arts

Please note:  I can't afford bon-bons and too much television makes me grumpy.  The most television I watch is on Sunday nights--one hour of "Frozen Planet" and one hour of "Mad Men"--and the rest is reading in the room while the brother and sis-in-love watch tv, or Netflix.

But baseball starts Thursday here in San Diego County, so all things are prone to change.

Go Padres.

And there's your answer.

*****

Where's my head right now?  I'm not hopeless, most of the time.  Most of the time I'm just working on creating life where there is little of it.  Do I think I'll be employed anytime soon?  No, but it's not making me panic or depressed, for I've learned how fruitless those actions and emotions are.  I've lost a lot, but I've been given a huge swath of time to learn, to surgically remove regret (and not the source of regret that you the reader might think).  I've learned to appreciate some of the corniest things.  I've learned to shut up and back out when I know I'm not needed or wanted.

My head, my heart, my actions...I'm grateful.  That's where I am, Rick.

Onward, dear reader.

P.S. - This poem is the inspiration for today's title of Life for Rent.  That's made all the difference.

Photo courtesy of M. Schlosser, en route to the Bay Area from Fresno, March 31st, 2012.