That Song By Dido, An Introduction

A couple of weeks back a reading friend suggested that I write a blog or series of posts on what it was like to be unemployed by choice in today's economy. It seemed like a wonderful idea at the time--I was two weeks out of work and surprisingly calm most of the time, but there continued to be some struggle in the fact that I often wondered what was next, and how to proceed on a day-to-day basis with what my plans were vs. what everyone else thought I should do to fit in. My friend asked me if I thought I was the only person in the world right now who had tried this, and, if not, I might be able to relate to a certain audience from the experience if I were to put it to words.

Still, I had misgivings.

There are a whole list of aspects that I don't want this series to cross over and into:

• Beating up on dead horses: I don't want to rag on past employers. When you leave your workplace in the manner that I did, where you didn't have your back against a wall, then it's not good form to keep throwing punches. I also understand that it's not good form to burn bridges, but if that's justified, I'll do it. There are certain past college professors and romantic partners that I would gladly strike a match to the buttresses for. But so far, no employers.
• Sucking up to dead horses: On the flip side, I don't want to paint my past experiences as all puppies and kittens and cookies. This is not the forum for that. If you want to see that sort of professional display, then you can review my blog that I keep open for employers, found here. On this blog, my hope is to give as honest and open a story of my development, and MY DEVELOPMENT ONLY. The companies' developments are up to them.
• An expose of all of the people I worked with: Please. My choices make theirs look boring. But in the bargain, I won't be revealing things that aren't crucial to the telling of the story just so that a reader will search the text for something juicy. If you're reading for that reason, you might want to check out less reputable blogs by porn stars or drug kingpins. My objective is writing you can relate to, not writing that will titillate. I save that for the other blogs that I don't tell you about. (JUST KIDDING.)
• A "how-to": How and why I chose this path won't work for everyone. Come to think of it, it won't work for most people. I'm not saying that you're not up to it, but I'm just saying that a lot of this isn't going to look very smart to the outsider. As an episode of the West Wing taught me once about decision-making and addiction: Decisions of the heart aren't about being smart. "Do you know how many Mensa candidates are alcoholics?" If you want a how-to on how to leave your job you'd best speak to a therapist or a life coach. I'm not either.
• A smug, free-spirited tirade on how I rose to the enlightened level of a freeloader: A) I'm not a freeloader. I'm living off of my money. B) There is nothing smug about what I'm doing. There will be moments of bliss. There were moments of bliss when I was in a conventional job. I'm just looking for more of them without stepping on someone's back or asking for a handout.

Knowing this, I plow in. The objective here is to give you what I experience, take you back to a similar or related experience when I was at a conventional job, and let you, the reader, decide. For this post you should probably be aware, as well, of a cast of characters that may pop up from time to time in these posts. In introducing them I should probably also mention that I'm going to come clean now in terms of fiction and non-fiction; since one of the characters is, in all practical measures, deceased, you should probably be advised that her parts in the play are true, but are the fabrication of a compilation of memories of what she would say or had said in the past, and not necessarily said at the time that they came to my mind as relevant. Hell, that could be said of all of these characters.

If you read this and you recognize yourself in the list, my point is to pay you homage. If you read this and you don't see yourself in the list, it's not that you aren't important--you just weren't a force in the change.

Here is the supporting cast:

• The Healer: Not a licensed psycho-therapist or psychiatrist. She's my physical therapist.
• The Good Doctor: My first mentor, my college advisor, and my literature professor for several classes in college.
• The Airman: My second mentor who knew the best way to get me to lead employees and live authentically was to read about it. And then show him that I could learn from what I read.
• The Spirit: If you guessed this one as the deceased one, you win the keys to the Buick. This one, by the way, is the only one I'll identify directly--the Spirit is my mother. (I can be slightly blasphemous here because I'm Unitarian. Deal.)
• The Reader: One of two people--an literary friend of mine who encourages me as a writer, and, well, you, the reader. If I do my job right as a writer you'll get the difference.

With that, and all the cards on the table, dear reader, onward.

P.S.--This is where the title for this series of posts comes from.